The Healer. The Empath. I.

Empathy: the capability to share and understand another’s emotion and feelings. It is often characterized as the ability to “put oneself into another’s shoes,” or in some way experience what the other person is feeling.

Healer: one that heals or attempts to heal. A person skilled in a particular type of holistic therapy.

Empathy is the ability to read and understand people and be in-tune with or resonate with others, voluntarily or involuntarily of one’s empathic capacity. Empaths have the ability to scan another’s psyche for thoughts and feelings or for past, present, and future life occurrences. Many empaths are unaware of how this actually works, & have long accepted that they were sensitive to others.

Empaths Sense Deep Emotions

Empathy is a feeling of another’s true emotions to a point where an empath can relate to that person by sensing true feelings that run deeper than those portrayed on the surface. People commonly put on a show of expression. This is a learned trait of hiding authentic expression in an increasingly demanding society.

An empath can sense the truth behind the cover and will act compassionately to help that person express him/herself, thus making them feel at ease and not so desperately alone.

Empaths experience empathy towards family, children, friends, close associates, complete strangers, pets, plants and inanimate objects. Empathy is not held by time or space. Thus, an empath can feel the emotions of people and things at a distance. Some are empathic towards animals (ie: The Horse Whisperer), to nature, to the planetary system, to mechanical devices or to buildings etc. Others will have a combination of the above.

Empaths Have Deep Sense of Knowing

Empaths are highly sensitive. This is the term commonly used in describing one’s abilities (sensitivity) to another’s emotions and feelings. Empaths have a deep sense of knowing that accompanies empathy and are often compassionate, considerate, and understanding of others.

There are also varying levels of strength in empaths which may be related to the individuals awareness of self, understanding of the powers of empathy, and/or the acceptance or non-acceptance of empathy by those associated with them, including family and peers. Generally, those who are empathic grow up with these tendencies and do not learn about them until later in life.

 Empathy is Inherited

Empathy is genetic, inherent in our DNA, and passed from generation to generation. It is studied both by traditional science and alternative healing practitioners. Empathy has both biological/genetic and spiritual aspects. Empaths often possess the ability to sense others on many different levels. From their position in observing what another is saying, feeling and thinking, they come to understand another. They can become very proficient at reading another personís body language and/or study intently the eye movements. While this in itself is not empathy, it is a side-shoot that comes from being observant of others. In a sense, empaths have a complete communication package.

How Empathy Works

While there is much we don’t yet understand about how empathy works, we do have some information. Everything has an energetic vibration or frequency and an empath is able to sense these vibrations and recognize even the subtlest changes undetectable to the naked eye or the five senses.

Words of expression hold an energetic pattern that originates from the speaker. They have a specific meaning particular to the speaker. Behind that expression is a power or force-field, better known as energy. For example, hate often brings about an intense feeling that immediately accompanies the word. The word hate becomes strengthened with the speaker’s feeling. It is that person’s feelings (energy) that are picked up by empaths, whether the words are spoken, thought or just felt without verbal or bodily expression. 

Psychic empathic traits not only involve the ability to receive energy, but also include the ability to heal in many cases. For this reason, an empath’s life path is best suited to the healing arts, whether it is in the field of healthcare or counseling, or working with children, plants, animals, or even healing places through design and renovation. There are many different paths for how to become an empathic energy healer – you just need to determine which characteristics and levels of an empath resonate with you most. When you have a positive outlet for the psychic abilities of being empathic, you can experience peace and fulfillment. This allows you to overcome the overwhelming feelings of why an empath feels anxiety.

Remember that those with psychic empathic traits are not only able to receive and pick up energy, but they can also project healing energy. The reason that empaths pick up on energy and information in the first place is because they have the power to do something about it.

Advertisements

Ebony and Ivory 2018

www.youtube.com/watch

As I watched this amazing rendition of our National Anthem, I couldn’t help feeling a great sense of unity and camaraderie between this “old white man” and a generations younger African American woman, as they sang. One does not see black and white. Old and young. One sees pride and love.

Why can’t every day people live like that? Politicians have pitted young against old. Men against women. White against black and vice versa to further their own agendas and pocketbooks. Far too many of them don’t give a shit about any of us regular everyday proud Americans and the rupture and divide they have caused with their bullshit rhetoric. I have girlfriends of many different races and ethnicities and religions. It is our differences that we love so much about one another. It is the thing that bonds us not divides us. We see that so clearly that we can’t understand why so many can’t. Or won’t.

That is the biggest problem that this great Nation faces. The inability of the masses or of the sheeple to see that our differences are an asset, not a liability.

https://youtu.be/N_lCmBvYMRs

What It’s Like to Live With No Emotional Skin

The hardest things for me to deal with as someone with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) are my emotions and their effects. So often I feel completely powerless to them. Most days I feel like everything is dialed up to 11 and if I feel something, I’m going to feel it completely.

For most people, emotions are like waves. We ride the ups and downs, weather the storms and hope we’ll wash up somewhere sunny after it’s all over. Well, you know that scene in “Cast Away” when Tom Hanks is desperately clinging to his deflating dinghy as gigantic waves throw him around? That’s exactly what it’s like for me when an emotion takes over. I close my eyes and hide my head until hours later, I finally tumble onto some forgotten island, alone.

And the most frustrating thing about all of this? It’s that the thing that gets me in the dinghy in the first place, my plane crash — it can be anything. It can be as simple as someone not texting me back or canceling plans — or as complicated as something completely unknown to me at the time.

Let’s say someone cancels plans… Even if they let me know and have a genuine excuse, my head can spin off in every direction.

They don’t like me anymore, or maybe they never did. They’ve finally had enough of me. I’m unworthy of anyone’s time and attention. If I would have just been a better person, this would never have happened.

Everyone knows what it’s like to think the worst, but imagine that feeling times 10. Imagine that feeling completely gripping you for hours, pulling you under until you no longer see light, just darkness all around as you suffocate and struggle. You want to get back to the surface, but shedding the weight of your emotion takes time. You’re helpless.

Marsha Linehan, creator of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) once said, “Borderline individuals are the psychological equivalent of third-degree-burn patients. They simply have, so to speak, no emotional skin. Even the slightest touch or movement can create immense suffering.”

Not long ago, I found the above quote in a medical article. When I read it, I felt the words strike me so deeply inside. That protective layer most people have that stops the little things hurting from hurting them — I don’t have that. Whether it went away through childhood trauma or difficult teenage years, I don’t remember. All I know is that for a very long time, I’ve had massive reactions to anything that hurts me.

“Why are you so dramatic?”

This is something people with BPD hear many times and the truth is simple — we’re not being dramatic. At least, not to us. It’s not an overreaction to us because the little things hurt like the big things. There’s little difference when you’re so raw and overexposed. I can’t help what hurts me or how — no human being can do that. That being said, I am striving to heal.

Though I am not ashamed of my mental illness, I am still trying to recover from it. I don’t want to have these reactions. I don’t want to get ground down into the earth by emotions. I don’t want to cry for hours. I don’t want to hate people I love. I don’t want to be a prisoner in my own mind. I want to get better.

Fuck You Cancer!!

My oldest, dearest friend, Debbie is fighting Stage IV Urothelial Cancer. I’m so fucking angry. Like DEFCON-5 enraged that someone as amazing, gentle, sweet, hilarious, generous and beautiful could be struck down with this God awful piece of shit disease. I have lost family members to the big C, and it was excruciating to watch Cancer sucks the very soul out of their pain ravaged, frail bodies. By the time that they were mercifully called HOME to much deserved Glory, I was literally on my knees praying and begging for their for suffering to end. My bestie and I are the same age, both with precious brand new grandbabies whom I naively assumed that we’d watch grow up as we grew older. Fucking TOGETHER. I think part of the reason I’m so angry is because her illness is making me face my own immortality and that scares the fuck out of me and makes me want to put my psychiatrist on speed dial because the mere notion of watching someone I’ve loved as a sister since we were thirteen years old suffer so unrelentingly has my BPD on red alert as it endlessly screeches “DISASSOCIATE,” in my mind, but I will not. No matter what. I will have her back exactly as I have had it for the past 29 years.

The worthless, self serving, dog and pony show of a god damn government and literal American hating Congress needs to stop worrying about what Melania wears, what President Cheeto Tan says or what AOC and her nutjob “posse” thinks and fund the FDA with an enormous budget so that diseases like cancer, cystic fibrosis, ALS, Alzheimers, Autism, MS, Lupus, Diabetes, Heart Disease, COPD, Fibro, PTSD, Schizophrenia, Bi-Polar and Manic Depression can be eradicated. I wish this with every fiber of my being. It won’t EVER happen though because Big Pharma has Washington in its very wealthy, very deep pockets.

FDA Person #1: Hey I know tens of millions of people are dying of above mentioned diseases every single day. That’s so tragic.

FDA Person #2: Yes, it really is sad. Hey, how far along are you on that new medicine that gives 95 year old men powerful erections?!?!

What in the fucking fuck?

The following is a text conversation between my heart, Debbie, and myself.

FUCK YOU CANCER!!

Sunshine Blogger Award

https://astridetal.wordpress.com/2018/08/27/sunshine-blogger-award/

cropped-9cb6c33c-b2e9-4bc3-8fec-26fcb4a7fc35.jpeg

Thank you so very much, Astrid @amultitudeofmusings for nominating me for The Sunshine Blogger Award. What an honor❤️

The Rules

    • Thank to the person that nominated you.
    • Link the post back to them.
    • Display the picture on your post.
    • Answer their questions.

DM’s Questions

1. What is your biggest fear?
Losing my husband

2. What would you like to achieve with your writing?
I initially started blogging as a form of therapy for my Borderline Personality Disorder, I’ve journaled my entire life but this is my first attempt at writing a blog.  I NEEDED to tell my story but it had to be the raw, real, unvarnished, imperfect story of me.

3. On a scale from 1 (hell would be better) to 10 (everything is more than perfect), how satisfied are you with your life right now and why do you think so?
Today it’s an 8 but the day before yesterday it was -2.  In a couple of hours I could be a 3.  Or a 10.  The thing about Borderline Personality Disorder is that your life is always an adventure.

4. What is the first thing you do every morning?
Coffee, the nectar of the gods of course.  As soon as this magical potion gets my eyelids above half mast, I read my feed on WordPress, of course.

5. How do you like to spend your weekends?
My preferred way to spend my weekend is cuddled up with my husband and binge watching Game of Thrones reruns.  I’m also a voracious reader of non fiction.  We also visit our parents, try to catch up with our adult children and see the grandbabies when any of them can pencil us in to their busy schedules.

6. What are you grateful for?
My husband, our children, our families and my blog.  It has brought me a tremendous amount of peace and healing but most importantly I am grateful to my new blogger friends whom I consider extended family who are so supportive and understanding.

7. What things do you have on your bucket list?
I can’t really say that I have a bucket list because dealing with the myriad of symptoms with my BPD is a day by day, sometimes hour by hour battle. When you have this disorder it is imperative to live in the moment.  No past. No future. Just right now.

8. What’s the craziest dream you ever had?
The craziest dream I’ve ever had is that I was a Congress woman.  The reason why it’s crazy is well….read my blog.  If not for the mental illness, my husband having an affair, or my childhood abuse skeletons in the proverbial closet, it would be my foul language (which for the record in my opinion are just extremely colorful adjectives) that would get me excommunicated, impeached, unpeached or whatever the hell it’s called when Congress runs one of their own off faster than you can say Bibbity Bobbity Boo.

9. What’s your core belief?
Half of the time I’m not even really sure who I am.  I would say that all people have the capacity to love.  There is so much violence, anger and divisiveness in our society today that I think most people have lost sight of the bigger picture;  United we stand, divided we fall.

10. What is your biggest desire?
To feel worthy,  to feel comfortable in my own skin, to love and to be loved unconditionally without restraints or reason.