Peeing, Vagina Costumes and My Right To Bear Arms

23 thoughts on “Peeing, Vagina Costumes and My Right To Bear Arms”

  1. This post is so awesome on so many levels.
    I agree with you on the Vagina hats and the pathetic state of pussification we are enduring.
    You and your figurative brass balls are refreshing. I think this post actually caused a stirring in my loins lol

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    1. Lol!! I thought it was one of my better posts as well, brother!! I just started in my usual snarky way and all of a sudden there it was. I suppose that’s the best kind of writing…the kind that you don’t really think about and just let flow.
      I had gotten kind of apathetic in regards to voicing my opinions in deference to polite society, then it dawned on me that polite society is an oxymoron and as for holding my tongue for etiquettes sake?!?!
      Fuck that!!
      Perhaps during my Mother’s Norman Rockwell, Pollyanna upbringing and times but not today’s uncivilized, entitled, bullying, gender fluid society. Those fuckers are entitled to their opinion, but I’m also entitled to mine.
      So if not voicing it for propriety’s sake makes me “unladylike” people that feel that way can start referring to me as Bill😉😉

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  2. For the record, I went to a female doctor thinking that the finger test would hurt less because of dainty hands. Much to my horror, he hands were the size of The Incredible Hulk. Then, my lady doctor does squeeze the berries with unnecessary force. I think that’s payback for the mammogram. And yes, the whole Tucker thing was nuts. What’s wrong with people???

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    1. LMAO!! Sorry not sorry for laughing, haha!! I suppose there are some exceptions in actual undignified medical procedures.
      I can’t stop laughing.
      “Don’t make me angry, you won’t like me when I’m angry!” a la Bruce Banner😂😂
      Good stuff!!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I’ve learned that’s what one gets for (ass)uming. Pardon the pun😂
    Funny how stuff like that is ALWAYS much worse than what we CONVINCE ourselves it’s going to be, because if we didn’t do this to cope we would run the doctors out of business.

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  4. All I want to know is A) how the hell do you keep from peeing yourself firing that cannon? It looks like you’d be creating a frigging logging flume pulling the trigger on that bitch; and B) have you talked to your doc about the pee thing? Something ain’t right, my dear. You shouldn’t have to change your clothes every time you laugh.

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    1. I did let out a couple of squirts of piss the first few times, but as I’ve learned more control on how to handle it and pucker myself up simultaneously, I’ve been Gucci😂
      I’ve taken to the doc. They said do Kegels. I’ve been doing that shit for 23 years and although I could probably open a bottled beer with my lady bits from the strength of those muscles they just don’t seem to hold back the pee😊

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      1. I’ve tried on numerous occasions, I’ve since got a referral to a really good one but he is almost a two hour drive one way away from where I live. Uuugggghhh, the only thing I hate more than driving is being a passenger in a car. About half an hour is about all I can bear normally.

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        1. If u brilliant mind comes up with a better solution PRETTY PLEASE let me know stat.
          I have a childhood friend who kept dull lower back pain, incontinence, and dull pain where her uterus used to be. She blew it off for a little over a year chalking it up to menopause and “getting old.”
          Last month she was diagnosed with terminal Stage IV Urothelial Cancer. She has kids my age, beautiful grand babies and has at best 10-12 months left to live. I’m absolutely fucking devastated.
          Why can’t this awful shit happen to awful people?? Not loving, sweet, compassionate, beautiful souled people! It’s just not right in the whole scheme of things no matter what ones “religious beliefs” are. She is handling her diagnosis a hell of a lot better than I am. So much for having a dear friend to lean on during such a tragic time. Half the time she ends up holding and comforting me because no matter how hard I try to “keep it together for her sake, I take one look at her and physically feel the cancer eating her up from the inside out all the way deep in my soul and I just lose my shit. I suppose I’m a terrible friend for this lack of emotional restraint, but she has known me since we were knee high to a grasshopper and bless her precious heart is worried sick how I will handle it when she does pass away. She’s asked me to write her obituary and speak at her funeral. I of course agreed but have absolutely no fucking clue how I’m going to be able to get through that very personal honor she has bestowed on me in the manner in which she deserves.
          She has been crawling my ass about the urologist for at least three months😌😌

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  5. Then make the trip – yeah it’s a 2 hour drive, but if you’d do it in her honor? Maybe that would make it more tolerable? Or like a quest.

    As for your friend – bless her. You’re going to speak for her – tell about how all the good she has brought into the world, and your life, and how glorious and brave she is – and then you’re going to ask everyone in the congregation to scream at the top of their lungs “FUCK CANCER”!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re the absolute best, LaLa!!
      I’ll make the trip, for you, ma chérie!!
      Your advice and wise counsel is blunt and spot on, just the way I like it♥️♥️♥️🥰😘🥰

      Liked by 1 person

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