My 2019 has in many ways been a fresh start. In several other areas it has not…..mainly my weight. When T and I got married last November, I was a size 2!! The last time my ass saw a two it was a 2 Toddler, so at the time I was feeling healthy (although I was hungry AF), and had a pretty positive body image.
Yes, even as enlightened as I am, I focus way to much on my body’s shape and size. I think this goes back to my childhood trauma of being called fat and sloppy as a chubby young child and tween. I sometimes wonder if my parents knew what irreparable damage they were causing by doing this, if that would have made any difference?!?!
I was stepping out of my clothes this morning and happened to catch sight of myself in our full length mirror (which I truly try to avert my eyes from at all costs normally) and I gasped….who is the fat, bloated, horrified stranger staring at my awful body so intently…..oh shit it was just my reflection😏😏
I kind of did the same thing a few days back. Our windows and front door have reflective coating on them to be more energy efficient. As I was cleaning I caught sight of some chubby bitch watching me from outside. I walked at her menacingly and she did the same right back. In my mind I’m thinking, this heavyweight bitch wants to actually fight, I better pack my lunch….as it turned out the feisty heavyweight bitch was me and I had already had my lunch along with a small villages lunch by the looks of my immense shadow😕😂😕