My Christmas Present Is A Pain In The Ass

My husband decided that at 45 and 46 respectively, that we should get healthy in the new year so he bought us both Fitbit watches. I totally appreciate the sweet gesture and concern for our health as we have small grandbabies that we need to be around for to watch them grow up.

That being said my problem with my gift is twofold. For starters I can’t even get the mother fucker paired with my iPhone or my Internet to save my life. I tried for three hours last night and I’m going on 3 hours this morning. WHAT IN THE FUCK?!?! I bet my twelve year old niece could have it set up in like five seconds flat.

My second problem with my very much appreciated gift is that who wants some artificial intelligence telling them to get up off their fat ass and walk, move, etc?!?! At least if a person tells you that, you can tell them STFU!!

So I’m going to smile gratefully at my husband for his thoughtfulness, wear this little judgmental fuck on my wrist and dare that bitch to tell me I haven’t moved in six hours straight!! As long as the Fitbit and I know who’s boss we’ll get along just fine!!

Merry Christmas Y’all💕💕



  1. Maybe having an AI tell you to get off your ass and walk will go better than your husband saying it? Btw, does my blog make my ass look fat?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Bahahahahaha, good point Jim!! My husband might be the recipient of a good old throat punch😂😂😂
      No absolutely not, only ones ass makes his/her ass look fat😂😂😂💕💕

      Liked by 1 person

    • Hahaaaaaaa!! In my most loving and caring way may I say, “you shithead.” Eating doughnuts and shit AND rubbing it in my face while according to my Fitbit it’s going to give me an electric shock if I do much as look at a doughnut, any sweet or any carbs and starches!!
      LMAO!! This shit sucks, all I really wanted was a new vacuum cleaner♥️♥️

      Liked by 1 person

        • I’m in upstate NY for now but I WILL be moving to North Carolina so it’s the right direction! LA is totally on my bucket list too. I’ve wanted to go there forever

          Liked by 1 person

        • Come at Mardi Gras and I’ll get you more FUBAR than you’ve ever been in your entire life. I’ll probably have to take half a bottle of Xanax for my social anxiety, and that to a couple of Hurricane’s from Pat O’s and you’ll be hauling my fat ass around in a decorated wheelbarrow!! Good times! lol!
          My personal e-mail is in my bio if you would like to just chat and get to know each other. You seem pretty awesome to me though💕💕💕

          Liked by 1 person

  2. If you didn’t just give me the best reason to appreciate being a single barren spinster. I don’t know what would. No husband. No fitbit! You should drink more water and that alone will get you upto pee more often. No more Fitbit pestering. Done! Your welcome! Cheers,H

    Liked by 1 person

    • LMAO!! I don’t feel quite so bad now!! I was so pissed off trying to set it up it was warning me that my heart rate was dangerously high….I didn’t NEED a fancy watch to tell me that, my red face and labored breathing clued me in just fine, thank you😂😂


  3. They are the “debbil” – and can be totally conned by just waving your arm around demanding more wine, beer or other beverages….

    Liked by 1 person

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