Trigger. Not Just The Lone Rangers Horse

Well I knew that it was going to happen sooner rather than later. I just didn’t know when. Living with Borderline Personality Disorder, one is ALWAYS waiting for the other shoe to drop. Right on our fucking heads. The good times are amazing, the bad times I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy (well maybe that bitch that fucked my husband six weeks before we were married), I wish that shit squared on that whore. Along with Ebola, SARS, Malaria, Meningitis, Equine Encephalitis, Mad Cow Disease, Chronic Wasting Disease, Swine Flu, Bubonic Plague, HPV, HIV, Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, Syphilis, UTI, Renal Failure, blindness, deafness, muteness, Leprosy, Legionnaires Disease and the absolute worst case of dysentery there ever was. I pray for this vile creature to come down with EVERY single one of them EVERY night. I’m already going to hell for my own shitty past so at this point praying for someone like this slut to suffer so greatly will not impact my immortal soul any more than it’s already impacted. Go big or go home is my motto.

Obviously I’ve triggered. No matter what I trigger over this horrific part of my life ALWAYS gets thrown in for good measure by myself.

I’m not sure if my trigger was the upcoming holidays, having two extra “guests” in our 800 square foot condo, or if it was the fact that my husband was exhausted from work, in a shitty mood and said some (in my opinion) awful shit that Daddy Dearest used to say to me. I completely fucking lost it though. Every single time, I think I’m making progress, that giant shoe drops and shows me who’s boss…..and my boss is BPD.

FML😏😏😏

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15 Comments Add yours

  1. Michael says:

    Quality list of ailments there, bravo

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Ha! I had several more but I didn’t want to overdo😉

      Like

      1. Michael says:

        Yeah right…lol..overdo it…

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Lol! Me? Never😂😂

          Like

    1. Thanks, much needed today😏

      Like

  2. Hugs girl. And a classy sip of Jack Daniels. 💜

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks honey💕💕
      I’m going to need a couple of bottles by Christmas time. Cheers my friend🥃

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Maybe Santa will come early

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Hug, Hug, Hug. Sending you a thousand hugs, feel better my dear BB xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Ms. Sweetness. Sunshine and Light!! I’ve really needed the hugs🤗
      I’m coming around though, my dear brother who has always been my BFF, cut ties with the entire family about a year ago. I totally understood him cutting off the rest of the house of horrors but had no idea why me as well. We went through the same abuse and trauma. We were a team of two. Anyway he called today, explained the disconnect and I spoke to him for almost two hours. I’m just so delighted to have my team back♥️
      Today has been a good day♥️

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That’s great news BB! so happy he got in touch! xx

        Liked by 1 person

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